Tag Archives: Persistence

PATTERSON HOUSE is on the way (knock on wood)

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Inanna is going into production of the fall schedule. PATTERSON HOUSE is finally going to see the light of day. September 27, 2022 is the publication date.

It’s been a journey. In case you ever wondered if you should keep going, if you ever wondered if your work would ever get finished and get “out there”, here are a few of the things that happened along the way to writing my first novel.*

After starting the work in 2006, I realized I did not know what I was doing. I gave up several times. I took courses. I joined writing groups. I got help.

I turned several ideas into short stories. I published unrelated short stories and other work. Smaller things. I learned.

I realized I had too many characters.

The main character changed. It was supposed to be the young Constance, but Alden took over, which is so like her, and I had to acquiesce.

I gave up again.

I moved to Boston and decided that was a good time to resurrect the book and figure how to write a novel while getting an MFA, which I did. Meanwhile, Elaine and I edited an anthology about menopause because all that was happening too.

This brings us to 2016.

I had an agent interested. I promised her a full MS in four months. I wasn’t quite finished, but knew I could be in four months.

Then I was in a car accident and got a brain injury. That journey is described in IMPACT. The TLDR version: I had to learn how to do a lot of things again, including read.

Three years later, to no one’s surprise, the agent very kindly said she was no longer interested.

I found another agent who seemed very interested and suddenly our movement towards a contract faltered. She had decided to leave the business.

I found a third agent, who was even more effusive than the second. While we were negotiating the fine print of the contract, she left the business, which I learned about on Twitter. I began to wonder if I was the common denominator here. Was my novel driving people out of publishing? Luckily, I had not yet signed because although the agency promised to take care of her clients, they did not.

I gave up looking for an agent.

I started submissions. There were rejections. And near misses. Perhaps the best/worst was when a house told me I was ninth on their list and they decided to publish eight books that year. Seriously, why even tell me that? I mean, thanks? I guess?

And then acceptance! I signed with Inanna. I had worked with them in the past (Writing Menopause) and was excited to do so again, especially with Editor Luciana Ricciutelli, who I first met in 1998 and had always admired.

The pandemic started and Inanna, like so many other presses (both small and large), delayed their entire schedule. Lu sent a multi-page email detailing the situation. Totally understandable. Even major movies were being delayed. No one knew what was going on. Meanwhile, I was working on IMPACT. I had a lot to keep me busy.

Then the unthinkable happened; dear Lu died. A tragedy for so many people. And my book was, understandably, delayed again. A minor thing in the context of the loss of such a wonderful person.

There was one more delay after that. Probably for the best since IMPACT was coming into the world and with my brain injury, I’m better doing one thing at a time.

The September 27 date comes with some cautions; paper shortages, shipping containers, etc etc etc etc etc. Recently, I heard of a YA writer whose container full of books landed in the Pacific somewhere. I couldn’t read on. My heart goes on to them. Anything can happen.

But for now 16 years after I first had the idea for this novel, Inanna will publish PATTERSON HOUSE. I can’t wait to share this last leg of the journey. It’s been a long time coming.

What’s the lesson here? Keep trying. Sometimes things take a while. Knock on wood.

* ”First novel” is the MOST optimistic phrase I have ever uttered.

 

 

How to Get Up When You’re Down.

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  1. Pretend. Pretend you are a person who can manage some part of the day ahead. Just pretend.
  2. Pick something small that you want to do. Anything. If you don’t know what you want to do, make figuring that out your task. Maybe you’d like to get a library card or replace the broken button on your favourite shirt. Sometimes you don’t want to do something, but you want the outcome you would get if you did it. Maybe the dirty dishes in the kitchen are making you sad. You don’t want to do the dishes, but you do want to have a clean counter. Maybe start small. Empty the sink and stack the bowls. Fill the sink with water and soap and wash only the bowls. Then you can have some cereal in a clean bowl. Yay! Celebrate the cereal. The rest can wait. Or maybe the cereal helps, and you can move on to the mugs.
  3. Don’t worry about whether the thing you choose to do is the most important thing to do. You’ll get to those things. (Really, you will.) Do the thing.
  4. Treat yourself. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Don’t make it dependent on success unless that works for you. You might want to watch the first season of Community for the tenth time. You can say, After I do the thing I need to do, I can watch one episode. Or you can say, Watch an episode because laughing will cheer me up and help motivate me. Do what is right for you. Make room for joy.
  5. When you wake up, let yourself think. Think about something you are grateful for. One thing. Name it to yourself. Say it out loud. Say, I am grateful for cereal. I am grateful for a new day. I am grateful I am breathing.
  6. If you can get out of bed, make your bed. Making your bed is a gift your present self gives to your future self. Some day soon, you will have the energy to do the laundry. For now, just make the bed. If you have never made a bed, watch a YouTube video about it. Look at your made bed and feel satisfied.
  7. If you have a lot of things you have to do and they fill your head, try to pick one at a time. You can’t do everything at once. No one can. Your success in dealing with one thing or part of one thing will prove your competence to yourself and it will help you get to another task. Say, I can do that, and do it. Eventually, you will make a plan. Remember, a plan is just a plan. It can change. You can change it if it isn’t working or is unrealistic. Evaluate the plan regularly and change what needs to be changed. Don’t let the plan sabotage you. The plan is supposed to help you.
  8. Some days everything is challenging. That’s OK. You know what you have to do and there’s no getting out of those things. Work. Caring for loved ones. Do what you can do. Somethings can wait though. If you have 100 emails waiting, respond to 1. That is a start. Give yourself a pat on the back. There’s probably some that don’t need a response at all. Scan through them. Delete. Unsubscribe. Maybe it is hard for you to get out of bed, hard to walk, or get up the stairs. Try a few steps, one or two stairs. If you keep at it, some day you might be able to walk around the block, one step at a time. It might be reading a page. It might be writing a page. Go one word or one sentence at a time. Sound it out. Choose the thing. Do it. Revel in your success. Say to yourself, Look! I did that. Rest.
  9. Save your strength. Don’t use it all up on something that is too much for you right now. Be kind to yourself. Learn to say no, or at least, not right now.
  10. Do one thing to make your environment more calm. Maybe turn the TV off. Stay calm for the things you have to do. Stay calm so you can think.
  11. Focus on something natural. A tree outside. A bird. Your child’s beautiful curly hair. Something growing in the cracks of the pavement. See the beauty in it. Think about one way that you are growing too.
  12. Drink a glass of water. Enjoy it. Say to yourself, That was really good.
  13. Intertwine your fingers, face your palms out and raise them above your head if that’s something you can do and stretch. Stretch something. Anything. Enjoy the feeling of your body moving, whatever part of it can move.
  14. Take a deep breath. Feel the air entering and leaving your lungs. Know that your body is good at change. It changes with every breath. Know that you are alive and breathing, and changing all the time.
  15. Forget everything negative you ever believed about yourself. Try to learn about yourself again. What are you good at? What would you like to get better at? Don’t worry about what you used to be good at and lost. That was another person in another time. Focus on the here and now.
  16. Build on success. Pick another task. Don’t think it has to be bigger. Just do another thing. For example, maybe you have to apply for something. Maybe you need to get a divorce. (I’m sorry you have to get a divorce.) You’ve put it off forever because you dread it. But it has to be done. Maybe the first task is to find a form on line or a contact on line. That’s good enough. Bookmark it or jot it down. Congratulate yourself. Take a break for an hour or until the next day before you try to fill out that form or connect with that contact. If you run into a problem, take a minute to rest and think about what you need to do the next part. Maybe that is a tomorrow task. Put it on a list. Congratulate yourself for making a list.
  17. Keep a list. Cross things off. Give yourself a high five when you cross something off. Have a glass of water again.
  18. Help someone. Whoever you are, whatever your problem is, you can do something kind for someone else. If you’re stuck inside, be nice to someone online. Answer a question for them. Tell them they are doing well. If you’ve made it to the market, you can leave something on a neighbour’s doorstep. There are millions of ways to be kind. Being kind builds you up. Congratulate yourself. Do a little dance in your chair. Say, That was a good thing to do and it made me feel better. Don’t wait for a thank you. It might come and it might not. Either way, you’ve done something kind. Keep it to yourself. Treasure that little kindness. Let it build you up.
  19. Go to bed when you are tired. Think about the thing(s) you accomplished. You stayed alive. You breathed in and out. Good for you.
  20. Keep trying.