Thanks for inviting me. I really appreciate it, and I really want to do the thing you have invited me to do, but for my own peace of mind, I have to remind you that I’m immune-compromised before we finalize our plan.

I know that on some level you know this about me already, but you probably don’t fully appreciate what it means for me in my daily life. There are a lot of things that just aren’t safe for me anymore. I don’t get to travel much or go to concerts. I miss that. I live with windows open and HEPA filters on. I don’t entertain much anymore. How could I ask people to mask in my house? I never get to not think about Covid. It’s a bummer.

My doctors tell me to do everything I can to not get sick. They tell me to get every Covid vaccination as it becomes available and never to wait for something better. I also recently had to repeat all of my childhood vaccinations, pneumonia, shingles and anything else they could think of. A cold (that is, an actual cold not a “pretend it’s not Covid” cold) would be really bad for me. Covid could kill me, or worse (yes worse) make my health much worse. That’s a lot of “worse” in one sentence. I don’t want a much smaller life. I know what it is to be sick. And I love my life. I love my friends. I love living! I’ve fought hard to get to recover to where I am and I won’t go back.

So I mask. No exceptions. I have to protect my baseline, low though it may be now. Private home or public space. This makes a lot of people uncomfortable for some reason and it makes invitations difficult, especially if the invitation involves food or drink. Sometimes I don’t quite know what to do, so I decided to write this post, knowing I would occasionally send it to a friend who has invited me somewhere.

I would love to do this thing you have invited me to do, go to this place you would like to go, see this show, etc., but I will have to mask. It’s not about you. It’s about me. (And it’s about the venue, the amount of time, how many people, if the windows are open, if I can stand by a window, and so on). If there is eating or drinking, I’ll have to be outside. And not in a crowded place. Even outside, I am careful. Transmission, while less likely outside, is still possible. Like I said, I never get to not think about Covid.

So, as long as you are aware that I’ll be masking inside and eating and drinking outside, staying away from crowds and so on, I feel excited to say yes to your kind invitation. Maybe you could ask me again after you get this, and I’ll know we are on the same page and you are okay with it too.

Oh, and because nothing goes without saying, let me know if you are feeling under the weather. We’ll do it another time. And I will do the same for you.